LIFE LATELY

Man oh man that baby of ours is giving me a run for my money! She is crazy with a capital C ya'll. So we've had plenty of days just inside all day just because I need her to catch up on sleep. Luckily the hubby gets home and takes Penelope to the pool or something so she's not cooped up all day. We've made sure though not to do it too much and I have been bringing my camera everywhere. Here's life lately, Philomena is 5 months and Penelope 2 years and 8 months. *sigh*

LIFE WITH TWO

Philomena is four months old now! Ahhhhh time is flying like a mother over here! She is JUST starting to chill out a little more, or maybe it's that I'm just starting to understand her a little more. Either way, things are getting a hell of a lot easier and I honestly am so relieved. Philomena definitely isn't an "easy" baby and only now do I feel like we are starting to understand each other. So for any new moms out there who are a few months in and still confused, please know that I was there for a long four months.

Just a list of things we've been trying to help her with: severe gassiness, problems eating, teething, constipation, super dry painful eyelids and not sleeping like...ever. I mean, honestly, life with two isn't difficult for me. Philomena is difficult for me. 

Before the baby, we prepared Penelope by getting her a step stool so she could help herself to things I just wouldn't be able to help with. I've established a really consistent routine as far as brushing teeth, cleaning up, dinner, bedtime. The routine aspect has helped tons because there is no fighting it, she knows what comes next and 9 times out of 10 its a breeze. I got Philomena's crib super early since they are sharing a room and had it in their room for a few months. I wanted Penelope to understand that she'd be sharing with someone else soon. She went to all my doctor's appointments and we would get excited together about hearing her sister's heartbeats. Preparation really, really helped.

Most importantly I prepared Penelope to understand that I'm not available 24/7. I felt like that would be the biggest issue and so everyday I would consciously be unavailable. If she wanted to talk and I was busy, I taught her that she needs to wait until I'm finished. Or how to play alone without needing me to play with her. Basically, she needed to be ok with being on her own sometimes since I felt that's what would need to happen with a new baby.

Honestly, because of preparation I feel like the transition for Penelope was amazing. She's such a sweet girl and so thoughtful, so I think the preparation was the icing on the cake. And boy was I thankful because Philomena is a handful. Five handfuls. In the beginning it would take hours to give her a nap. Then she'd wake up five minutes later. 

The transition from one to two wasn't difficult. I think going from no kids to one was more difficult for me. The most difficult aspect of two kids is the 24/7 guilt. I never feel like I've given each of them enough of myself for the day. I don't know that I ever will. I want to give endless love and affection in ways that will make them feel singularly special. But no matter how much I do, I'm left feeling like I could have done more. So the mom guilt is the hardest.

Philomena is super difficult, but even so, can I tell you how happy two girls makes me? I have two warm cuddly little babies that think I am the best thing in life. I get to watch the relationship between sisters unfold right before my eyes. I get to snuggle with my two babies one on each hip. It's the most amazing feeling there is in life. I thought my happiness meter was full with one kiddo and it was, but just like that it expanded to include another. And now I don't know how we even lived without her here. Like...that's weird.

Below I've put together some things that have really helped me with two. But even for a new mom, these are great for you too!

Mom of Two by elletdark featuring rattan storage baskets

1. Baby Carrier - MUST HAVE. I personally like a wrap because it travels well and I love the natural feeling of it with Philomena.
2. Kid's Table - Penelope has started eating here a lot. It helps me out when I'm busy so she can easily eat, put away her plate and clean up. It's also great as an option to have her near while I'm feeding Philomena and she likes to color or read.
3. Swaddle Blankets - These light blankets I use for everything. Seating, rags, shade, an actual blanket etc. I have a few laying all over the house.
4. Step Stool - It was important to find one Penelope could easily carry around and this one is super light. It's pretty high so she can reach things on our counters if need be. She uses it for everything: toilet, food, brushing teeth, washing hands. When I'm busy with Philomena the stool is a life saver.
5. Ikea Shelves and Baskets - Laying this lengthwise makes things Penelope uses a lot accessible. We store diapers there and also clothes and pajamas. In the mornings, I ask her to pick an outfit for herself and her sister. At nighttime she gets her own pajamas and diapers. It's all about easy access for the toddler!
6. Bouncer - You need this with more then one kid because you don't want your newborn to accidentally get trampled on. Something simple, but keeps your baby off the ground.
7. Double Stroller - Sometimes I want to walk around in peace. I love this stroller and strapping two kids in with seatbelts gives me peace of mind to not have to chase them anywhere. 

11 TIPS TO BE A MORE PATIENT MOM (FOR THE LITTLE ONES)

We all do it. Our kid does something small and the heat rises in our body and we temporarily go insane. Lose it and yell. Some people lose it and spank. Every. Single. Mom. has been there right? If they say they haven't they are lying. It's totally fine to lose it, I mean we are human. We are raising insane little people who's main goal in life is to drive us nuts (Only semi-kidding). I actually decided to write this post for multiple reason.

reason 1. I think after hearing the 6th person say I was an abnormally patient mother I decided maybe I could help someone else.

reason 2. I totally lost it yesterday and almost yelled, but used a tried and true method to get me back to a joyful place. (See tip #10.) Why not share what works?

And so before I enter into my tips that have helped me through and through with my children, I would like to make my usual disclaimer. I am not a child psychologist and half the time I have no idea what I'm doing. But I'd like to think I've racked up some experience by being a stay at home mother of a toddler and now an infant as well. This is what works for me.

TIP #1. YOUR CHILDREN ARE PEOPLE TOO: I think this is huge. As parents, we tend to forget that. Tantrums are so annoying right? Yeah I hear you. But what a tantrum actually means is your child is trying to tell you something. Have they slept? Have you ignored them all day? Are they hungry? These little people just haven't developed the skills to tell you without hyperventilating and screaming. So in those moments remember, they are people too and they many times just want to be heard. If you are tired, overstimulated and starving you have tantrums too...it's called yelling :) 

TIP #2. GET SOME SLEEP: When you don't sleep, you are a ticking time bomb. Now mix that in with being starving, no alone time, a toddler who ignores you and a filthy house. You're going to lose your shit for sure. Just a matter of when. So when you can...nap. Go to bed at 8pm and be an old Grandma. Whatever it takes...get adequate sleep unless your like Jeezy and just don't want to sleep until you die.

TIP #3. GET OUTSIDE: I take the kids outside just about everyday. Everyone thinks I'm a great mom and that's why. Well thank you and that's half of the reason. The other half is getting good ole' vitamin D keeps you sane. (See proof HERE) Going outside makes you at least throw your hair up and put some semi clean clothes on. It's a whole new world for your kids every time and they can touch virtually anything. It makes the day go by quicker. No cleaning. Seriously...get outside.

TIP #4. GET OFF ALL ELECTRONICS: Something weird happens to your brain on electronics. All the sudden you are SO busy and any interruption is heavily annoying to borderline enraging. What can you do instead of scroll through Instagram all day? Go outside! Make a new meal you've been wanting. Read. Paint your nails. Talk to people with actual eye contact. Play with your kids. Start a business. Play cards. I mean...anything really. 

TIP #5. IGNORE YOUR KIDS: I am not 24/7 entertainment for my children. That's what their imagination is for. When I tell Penelope I am relaxing, she knows this means to go play. Sometimes I tell her she needs to go play outside for awhile. I think there is this common idea that we as parents exist to provide entertainment for our kids at all times. Not true. Being independent is good for them and good for you.

TIP  #6. SPEND QUALITY TIME: I am not my children's 24/7 entertainment, however I am their mother who loves to explore their little personalities. What quality time means to me is they have my attention 100%. I will not answer my phone, I will not check my text message and I am totally engrossed in them. I like to spend about 30 minutes a couple times a day. This makes my toddler so happy and when I'm all done her emotional tank is all filled up. That means that she's not whining or doing crazy things to make me lose my shit. 

TIP #7. GET UP EARLY: I always say this but it's true. Get up earlier than them. 15 minutes if that's all you can do, makes a huge difference. I have an infant and I know how exhausted we all are. But do it and your whole day will go better.

TIP #8. HAVE REASONABLE EXPECTATIONS: If my infant hasn't slept all day and is miserable, I'm not going to decide to take her grocery shopping for an hour and a half. Your playing yourself my friend. If I give my toddler water to play with outside, I'm not going to expect her not to get it all over herself. That's what being 2 is all about...exploring and cause and effect. I expect a mess, tantrums, testing, interruptions, whining. Being prepared is 75% of the battle than knowing how to respond is the last 25%.

TIP #9. SET BOUNDARIES: I have very few boundaries with my toddler because I don't want her to live in a glass house. Tiptoeing around on eggshells. Also, tons of boundaries again is just an unreasonable expectation. But the boundaries I do have I am firm, zero tolerance and consistent. I set boundaries on things that I know trigger me and also safety issues. Ignoring me is unacceptable. Not cleaning up after yourself is unacceptable. Being disrespectful in how you speak or act towards me is unacceptable. Not holding my hand in a parking lot or to cross the street is unacceptable. Remain consistent on your boundaries and they will stop being battles. Then those things that trigger you will happen very infrequently.

TIP #10. WHATS THE HURRY?: I forget the quote but basically we're all in a hurry to get nowhere faster. Young kids are a blessing because they teach us to stop and smell the roses. Appreciate your surroundings. When your walking to the park and rushing them to get there...why? If they are trying to do something themselves and it takes triple the time...so what? If you don't have an appointment to make or something of that manner, next time you find yourself being impatient just ask yourself...what's the hurry?

TIP #11. WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS: Alright, you've tried everything else. Today is just a shitty day. You're on the brink of losing it. Go get some space, a cup of some strong coffee and start counting everything your thankful for. Your health, your beautiful kid(s), the fact that you have running water and food in your refrigerator, the vacation you can afford to go on, the fact that you looked in the mirror and didn't cringe. Your nails look good. I mean, just keep counting...until that anger subsides then resume life as the keeper of psycho little people. :)

I hope this helps...lmk if you tried it and if these things work for you!

POSTPARTUM: MOM MUST HAVES

Postpartum Must Haves by elletdark featuring anastasia makeup

Everyone's must have list is obviously subjective, and mine is more tailored to making myself feel good. Last pregnancy I got so lost in being a mom that I completely forgot about myself. So this time around I'm buying things that make life easier, and make me feel great.

1. Target Tees - My favorite thus far. Long, soft and cheap...I bought a few colors.

2. Old Navy High Waisted Leggings - Technically workout pants. I actually prefer Lululemon, but since I don't plan to be this size for long, Old Navy is much cheaper. I love them too!

3. Celine Sunglasses - Splurge on a pair of sunglasses. Since you won't sleep, to look pulled together throw on designer sunglasses, a clean t-shirt and nice sneakers.

4. Fake and Bake - My secret to looking much better than I feel.

5. Pumping Bra - LIFECHANGING. Seriously makes pumping much more enjoyable. Ok not enjoyable ever, but I'm able to stand it now and not want to blow my brains out.

6. Target Nursing Bras - Simple and cheap, these are super soft and easy to snap on and off when breastfeeding.

7. Anastasia Brow Wiz - The best brow stuff out there in my opinion. The pencil makes filling them in so quick. Having my brows done and some lipgloss is night and day difference.

8. Robes - When I plan to be home for awhile in the morning I'll walk around in a nice robe. I don't feel like a slob, and I'm breastfeeding so easy access is always a plus!

9. Jordan Eclipse - I'm working on getting a few sneakers I love and I just bought another color in these. Seriously so comfy! Even wearing a simple outfit is so much more pulled together with nice kicks.

10. Paper Plates - I caught on to this late, but now I remind myself to use our paper plates for most meals. We have to wash enough stuff as it is like bottles so these help out so much!

To shop, click the thumbnails!

6 WEEK POSTPARTUM: CHECK IN

Six weeks into life with two kiddos and it is going pretty well. Philomena is gorgeous and looks like a chumpy little baby now. Penelope has gotten used to hearing the crying in the middle of the night and sleeps through it. Neither my husband or I are getting much sleep, but I already expected that and to be honest, I was much more tired the first time around with Penelope.

Recovery: It's been frustrating, I've dealt with a few issues here and there during my recovery. But I'm so much closer to feeling 100% and cannot wait to start working out.

Philomena: I'll be honest, this girl is SUPER gassy. So gassy I've looked up colic on multiple occasions just to make sure she doesn't have it. So it's very difficult because she will only sleep if she's held and she has a hard time even eating. It can get really frustrating at times but I say things are going well because they are. She's healthy, beautiful and regardless of all this gas she doesn't cry much...so she's a trooper. 

Nights: My husband wakes up for her feeds which still are all over the place. The only for sure time is she will always be up around 1am and after that it's a toss up. I wake up to pump. A lot of times we happen to wake up at the same times but since we are so zombie we don't even talk lol.

Weight: I've lost ten pounds since we got home which I'm super happy about. I've been pretty much a couch zombie this whole time, so I had to be really tight about my diet. A typical day is oatmeal for breakfast, protein/veggies/rice for lunch, protein and veggies for dinner and two snacks in between. A  typical snack will be greek yogurt or some fruit.

Wearing: Old Navy high waisted workout pants, Target v-neck tees, Jordans.

Loving: Iced water, the invention of high waisted yoga pants, and I can finally do short walks now.

Hating: My pumping schedule.

PHILOMENA AND PENELOPE (1 MO/2 YR 3 MO)

Jeez I can't believe Philomena is already one month old. How quickly time flies kind of creeps me out. It doesn't matter how much I already know to be conscious of that, I still wonder where it went. This first month has been much easier then I imagined, but is definitely still difficult. With the lack of sleep that all new parents deal with (I understand we aren't the only ones!) it's been hard some times to muster up much needed patience. But luckily, patience is not needed as much as I anticipated since Penelope has been amazing with the transition and I already knew what to expect with a new baby.

Penelope has transitioned so well to all of this new stuff that it's really made me proud. From the day we brought her sister home, all she's wanted to do is play with her and help us out. She will run and bring diapers, or grab us a bottle. She isn't screaming for attention when we are tending to Philomena.  But whats really melted my heart is how quickly she fell in love with her little sister. She asks where she is when she wakes up in the morning, whispers "I love you sister" when she's playing with her, and is already protective of her. Such a kind soul.

Right now she's going through a stage where she is very sensitive and using her naps as a way to show us she's angry. Meaning, she refuses to take one no matter how tired she is. I've learned that you really can't make a kid nap and so just lay her down and hope for the best. Besides that she's really into her baby right now and mimicking everything I'm doing with Philomena. Her vocabulary is still insane, she's learning so many new words so quickly. Every day it's "What's that Mommy?" and when I tell her, she always repeats it after me and actually remembers later. It's really cool to see her soak everything up.

PENELOPE
FAVORITE FOODS: Ice-cream, bell pepper

FAVORITE SONG: Anything Taylor Swift

NEW PHRASES: Can I want some? 

FAVORITE ACTIVITY: Playing with baby or dancing with lammy, playing music in our bedroom and dancing on the bed

FAVORITE GAME: Hide and seek, catch, dancing

CHORES: Load the laundry, set the dinner table, throw away her diapers, put laundry away, clean up before nap time and bedtime

FIRST TIMES: Put on her own pants, drawing her first pictures, put on her own sneakers

FAVORITE BOOK: Princess Collection book

SIGNATURE MOVES: Singing "Go Mommy, go Lammy when we're dancing", asking for every single morsel of food that exists in our household

Philomena has been so different then Penelope was when she was a baby. She is definitely into being snuggled 24/7 and doesn't like to be put down. Also she has been really gassy, which makes me feel horrible because I have to watch her in pain. But just within the past week I've already noticed a few things. She is freakishly strong and actually prefers standing on her own to any other position. She loooooves talking...seriously she just blabs and blabs and blabs until she's ready to eat. And she's already in love with Penelope. Like she could be about to have a fit and if Penelope comes near, she stops and is suddenly entranced. It's adorable. The girl loves her bath times and belly rubs...such different kids already and it's so interesting to watch. I can't wait to see more.

PHILOMENA'S BIRTH STORY

2 days old!

We're home and Philomena is now six days old and kind of a dreamboat of a baby. I had to get my her birth story down quick before I forgot any details...so here it is.

On Tuesday, December 22nd I had a checkup appointment and a stress test since I was a week overdue. I was feeling really crappy and cranky and in lot's of pain. My sciatica at that point was out of control and I had been experiencing contractions for over a week. It was literally to the point where when I felt consistent contractions, we were just whatever about it. 

5 cm dilated!

Me, my husband and Penelope all headed to my appointment and I went in alone to do my stress test. They hook you up to all this stuff and monitor the baby's heartbeat as well as your contractions. Funny story, while in there talking to my nurse she asked if my husband plays for the NFL and I laughed and said no, but we get that all the time. The funny part is she wasn't convinced I was being honest and actually said "Are you sure? Because our VIPs many times use aliases so the press doesn't know they are here" and then proceeded to ask me more questions about it. I thought it was hilarious she didn't believe me. Anyway, at the end of the stress test I asked her how it looked and she hesitated while looking at the paper then told me it looked great. But right after, she said she had to go have a doctor look at it. Immediately I got concerned, because the doctor looked at it and said he was going to run over and talk to my regular NP. Then my NP walked in about five minutes letter and walked me over to her office at which point I was kind of freaking out. She said that they found that Philomena's heart rate was irregular and dropping sometimes so they were going to induce me.

After squeezing me into their induction schedule my husband and Penelope came with me into labor and delivery. The nurses were super sweet to Penelope and she was so curious about all of the tools and gadgets, and as always talking talking talking! After my best friend came and picked up Penelope it was already around 6pm and the nurses hooked me up to Petocin. Ornan and I sat there waiting overnight and while we were in one room, his best friend was waiting on their baby to come in another room a few doors down. I thought it was pretty amazing that they got to be each others support while we waited our new little babies out. Sometime in the early morning they checked me and I was six centimeters, a few hours later I was eight centimeters. After I was 8cm for awhile the nurses suggested I break my water. I did the same with Penelope's birth so I was comfortable with it but SO scared of the pain. So they broke it and from there it's kind of a blur.

After they broke my water I started feeling really intense contractions and I was terrified of the transition stage. Since I went without drugs before I knew what that felt like. I finally decided to get the epidural and I was super scared that it would paralyze me...lol I don't even know where I heard that from. So I stayed rock still until it was in and let me tell you...that stuff is LIFE CHANGING. Holy crap! After that it was only about another two hours and I was ready to push...with no pain whatsoever. I could not get over the fact that I needed to push and I was just laughing and talking with everyone. I pushed for a really short period of time... I wanna say 20 minutes if that, and then Philomena came out. I remember in one of my last pushes the nurses called Ornan over and said "Look at all that hair!". She came out eyes wide open and they immediately put her on my chest. It was exhilarating and a moment full of joy to have my husband next to me and our newest addition to our family. I wished Penelope could be there in that moment but I knew that seeing the labor might have not been the best idea.

Weighing her and measuring

Daddy and Philomena

I was able to breastfeed her and snuggle her for a long time and then Ornan got to hold her for the first time. It was so cute when the nurses tried to take her for a second, she immediately started crying so they gave her back to me and she stopped right away. I ended up confirming her name right after she was placed on my chest, which I joked with my friends would happen. We weren't sure all the way up until that point, but literally when she was laying on my chest I just knew her name was Philomena. 

Ornan left the hospital and took Penelope home so she could get back to her regular schedule and sleep at home. I stayed overnight with Philomena and I had such a difficult time with learning how to breastfeed correctly. I had multiple lactation nurses coming in and trying to teach me different things, but it kinda left me more confused then the beginning. I remember at one point in the night specifically, I couldn't sleep and I got really sad when I thought about me and Penelope's bond being changed forever. I started crying and getting nostalgic about everything us two have been through together. Even though I obviously loved Philomena, I felt like my dynamic with Penelope was going to be ruined forever. I even felt a little guilty like having another baby was selfish of us. But after my good cry, I told myself that this new little girl is a blessing for not just us but also for Penelope. It's normal to have these feelings and I'm sure I'll have them again at some point but it hit me full force specifically at that moment.

My two girls :)

We got our little girl's name from an amazing movie called "Philomena". It's about an old woman who had horrible injustices done to her. You see through the entire movie though that she never wavers in her faith, she is kind to everyone and her positivity inspires people around her. I thought the name was beautiful and told Ornan a couple of years back that I wanted to name our girl that. Her name means "loved" and was very popular way back in the old days but kind of non-existent now. 

When I was pregnant her name went from Olivia, to Philomena, to Rose to Delilah. We just couldn't choose...so it was pretty amazing that the certainty came right after I gave birth to her. 

My recovery was only overnight and I was able to go home the next day. Such an easy labor compared to Penelope and so happy to be home with my family for the next three weeks. Philomena so far has been an absolute dream and my husband has been superman of the year with helping out with everything. Honestly, so blessed!

PACKING YOUR HOSPITAL BAG

Hospital Baby Bag by elletdark featuring a dry shampoo

Well now that I'm counting down to almost three weeks before I'm due, I'm getting the hospital bag ready. We had Penelope at Kaiser and are having the new baby at Kaiser and I gotta say they were AMAZING at supplying tons of stuff for me and Penelope when she was born. Food constantly coming in, snacks all day long. They sent us home with packs of diapers and extra pads and tucks... I mean they were awesome!

Now that I know that, this bag will be a little different then the one I packed for Penelope. First and foremost, birthing recovery is not pretty my friends. So bring tons of pairs of comfortable, dark underwear. Because you bleed tons after and the pads they give you are like the size of China. Comfort is key here. They will supply you with gowns and I suggest you stick to those, but if you'd like something of your own a robe is great and easy boob access for breast feeding. I brought slippers and never used them, but this time around I'm bringing big comfy socks because they do keep the hospital pretty cold.

Make sure you bring a camera and a charger and memory card for the camera. Also your cell phone and a charger for your cell phone. Those first moments with your little are priceless and I promise you will want pictures. 

For sanitary purposes you'll want to bring the usual. Deodorant, face wash, toothbrush, toothpaste etc. I will be bringing a very simplified version of my makeup bag including a BB cream I can just swipe on real quick. Dry shampoo and some chapstick (bring multiples!) at the very basic level and tons of hair ties.

For feeling good sake, I would highly suggest treating yourself beforehand and getting your toes done in Shellac. You and tons of other people will be staring at your feet and it's always nice to have a shiny polished foot to look at. I say Shellac because it is really hard to anticipate exactly when baby will come and this method of polish lasts longer so your not stuck looking at chipped toenails for 18 hours. Bonus for it lasting the first couple weeks of your baby being here.

Lastly, for when you are leaving the hospital pack some leggings and an oversized top. I'm packing these Athleta pregnancy leggings because I still had quite a belly when we left and I want to be comfy. Oh and bring some sunglasses, because you will look like you went on a weeklong bender with no sleep lol. For baby, something easy and soft that won't irritate their belly button stump. If you can find something that zips, it will be so much easier for you. Bring your own swaddle blankets, the brand above is my fav, to snuggle your new little love up and bring them home! 

Click the thumbnails above to shop any of the products you see.