Number one comment we get from other parents about Penelope..."Wow! She seems so much older!" I full heartedly believe that's because we allow her to fail. To fall. To cry. To try. To learn.
Something really cool happens when you let your kid know they are allowed to make their own decisions. That we trust her to make her own decisions. She becomes confident, agile, brilliant and resilient.
At the playground I saw a bad decision coming from a mile away. I decided to let her make it, the lesson would be good and it was safe. She slid where she wasn't supposed to slide and she fell. Cried for a heartbeat, I walked over dusted her off and let her know she should try and be more careful. Then she ran off to play again.
When I make her food, I put it on her tray hot and let her know "hot". I leave it for her to figure out that it's not very fun to eat things that are piping hot. As a result, she waits for her food to cool down and now understand the danger of hot stoves, curling irons, fireplaces.
Little opportunities like this that come up everyday. Opportunities that I allow her to explore and deal with the repercussions. Minimal shielding. Try something and fail at it...on her own. I do get a lot of perplexed looks from parents and I understand they mean well, but the greatest gift my father gave me growing up was freedom. That's something I've gained wisdom from. That's a gift I want to give our children.
Letting our children explore and fail is the greatest catalyst for learning life's most valuable lessons. It's our job to determine the boundaries of what isn't actually safe, but also to let them be their own little people. I don't consider it my job to be her babysitter but her mother who's there when she needs me to be. My job is to love her, care for her, guide her as needed and trust her.
I'm proud of that comment we get. It's not easy to watch the impending doom, but I'm so thankful we did it this way. I love her confidence and she surprises me everyday with what her little self is capable of. She truly is remarkable.
What timing for this beautiful post, Liz! My own Little Miss has been crawling for about a month now, but in the past few days has been extra active and pulling herself up into a standing position quite a bit. It makes me nervous because she isn't very steady at all. I've been trying to give her as much independence to learn as possible without ya know...cracking her skull open and all. I think it's so important to let kids (even the littlest ones) fail on their own to be able to learn from it and be confident in how they explore the world. Really loved this post, thanks for the great reminder that although it's not always easy, letting our babies fail is doing them a great service!
ReplyDeleteAw thank you Christina! Yeah it's awesome that your willing to kind of let go and let her do her thing...aside from cracking her skull open ;) I think it's such an important component of raising our kids.
DeleteWhat a great post! I absolutely agree that you need to let your kids try, fail, and then try again.
ReplyDeleteWhen my oldest (now 4 1/2) was a young toddler I was so afraid of letting him get too dirty or do things without me hovering over him so he wouldn't get hurt. Then my mom said something that just clicked, "smart kids get dirty". Since then I have not only relaxed but I have encouraged both of my sons to go out, explore and get dirty.
I absolutely love that advice! It's a really simple way of saying what I've basically posted :)
DeleteI love this! I just posted something yesterday about habits of successful people and one of them is to allow yourself to fail. I think as a parent allow our children to fail (with in the obvious safety zone) is crucial to their mental growth. Cheers to you! :)
ReplyDeleteYeah I totally agree. I've been through many "failures" but I think the lessons I've learned are priceless. Thanks for visiting! :)
DeleteI love this! I just posted something yesterday about habits of successful people and one of them is to allow yourself to fail. I think as a parent allow our children to fail (with in the obvious safety zone) is crucial to their mental growth. Cheers to you! :)
ReplyDelete