Thursday, September 4, 2014

I can't even begin to believe how fast time has slipped by with our baby girl. People always told me cherish it, it goes by so fast. And I really took that to heart and spent hours playing with her and taking her everywhere to see the world. I wanted Penelope to know that there was a world outside of this little space we call our home. To see what ducks looked like close up, the way a sprinkler felt on a lawn, how leaves crinkled in her fingers or how beautiful all the different flowers were.

So we did everything and more. But still I'm left with the feeling that I haven't done enough. Didn't cherish enough. And maybe that feeling is inevitable for every parent because you know those precious moments are ones you will never get back. And thats really what keeps me sane in the moments of insanity. Where she refuses to sleep, or won't let me have five seconds of alone time. I breathe and I tell myself that this moment will be one I'll never get back. I don't want to regret the way I reacted to that moment. It keeps me level and it keeps me grateful.

10 months is so momentous because it is so close to that epic FIRST year. Already I'm thinking of periods, and attitude, and high school, boys, and the big scary world ahead. How will I protect you? How will I prepare you? Can I prepare you? It's a dichotmy of emotions. On one hand how proud am I that your already running! Your eating everything under the sun! You have started to throw your own diapers away! But how sad am I that you aren't sitting comfortably, snuggling in my arms anymore. Soon you won't even need diapers and that makes me crumble.

Penelope in three words at 10 months? Joyful, resilient and intelligent

She is the only girl in our library cuddle club who leaves me to go wander alone and introduce herself to other babies. By ways of friendly kisses obviously. She finds joy in EVERYTHING. This girl is happy literally 24/7. When she falls she likes to get herself back up and she will keep doing the same the over and over and over again until she finally gets it. She loves to brush her teeth herself and sits patiently while I brush her hair. She thinks it's fascinating to watch me clip her nails and everything in our home is open for Penelope digestion. She runs to the door when Daddy's home and loves to eat eggs with feta every morning with Momma. Start playing some music, she instantly smiles and starts bouncing, swaying her head. When she's at a park her favorite things to do is to walk up to random people and start playing with them. She's babbling non stop and actually listens when we tell her no. Penelope the angel, my little peanut burglar.

Just writing this makes me emotional. It's easy for me with all of her new skills to get so caught up in the day to day that I don't take a step back and realize how wondrous this little human being really is. 

What a blessing in the form of a buddha bellied, curly fro'd, chubby toe'd, missing tooth smiles, chunky little muffin.

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