LETTER TO PENELOPE

I count this as my second Mother's Day since my first I celebrated when I was pregnant. I never thought I wanted to be married much less be a Mother. I felt I was too selfish to make anyone else happy for any extended period of time. And I was. But everything has it's perfect timing, and when we found out about you I didn't think I was ready.

I checked out every book about pregnancy from the library. I spent hours reading articles online about parenting. I took classes, I listened to advice. I was positive I would be THAT mom who forgets to put the elf on the shelf. The horror! But everything really does happen for a reason. I wasn't just ready, but I believe I was born to be a Mother. All trials and tribulations have led me to what I believe to be my calling. Which is you. Where I thought I would be stingy with my time, I am ecstatic to share with you.

I spend hours staring at you. The faces you make the first time you discover something new, or when you realize I'm not next to you anymore and you look for me. The first time you taste a new food and it looks like your eating a sour grape. When I walk into the room in the morning after you wake up and your face lights up with joy.

Your eyes crinkle up with laughter anytime somebody talks to you. "She's SUCH a happy baby!" everyone says. It's true. I don't know that I've ever laughed so much with anyone else in my life.

Your giggle is angelic. It's like God created the most heavenly sounds and inserted it into your little body. You are loving and curious, funny and so smart. Your not even One yet and I can see your going to be too smart for your own good.

You love to dance with Mama. We'll put our hands together and dance around the living room like silly girls. You stare up at me in wonder, and then suddenly your nose crinkles up to match your smile.

When your playing by yourself, I tell myself there's a lot of work to be done. But I just can't tear myself away from the little wonder that is Penelope. I watch everything, take it all in. Everybody told me time flies by so fast, so I fear losing a moment that I won't get back.

As you grow up you'll find through my actions, that I've made you promises while you were still in my belly.

I promise to love you when it's not as easy
I promise to listen to you when what you tell me isn't what I want to hear
I promise that I will not force my judgement on who you are supposed to be
I promise I will be there on your field trips
I promise I will keep trying to bake so I don't embarrass you at bake sales
I promise I will make time to put you first
I promise I will make time for myself so you can have a happy mommy
I promise I will learn how to do hair so you don't look like a jungle child
I promise you can talk to me about anything
I promise you will learn what it's like to be a lady
I promise I will teach you that it really doesn't matter what others say
I promise I will show you the importance of serving
I promise I'll take you on mommy daughter dates
I promise to pick your nose until you figure out how to do it yourself
I promise you will know what it's like to be a kid and make mud pies and eat sand
I promise to let you makes mistakes so you can learn from them
I promise that if you say you want to be an astronaut that sells cookies to aliens on Mars, that's what I will help you do
I promise to step in when I know you need me to
I promise if anyone bullies you I will try with all my might not to go to your school and scare the little shit
I promise to teach you that your body is a temple
I promise to show you through my marriage how a man should treat you
I promise that I am devoted to you, and that will never have to be something you worry about...ever.